Desire
DESIRE:
This song comes from Alma 32, when Alma takes a team of missionaries among the Zoramites. One day, he is out on the street teaching a group of people and another group approaches him with some questions. Seeing that these people are poor in heart and ready to listen, he turns himself to address this group. He answers their question with a discourse on faith and his imagery of planting the word of God, like a seed in your heart and caring for it until you can taste the fruit. This description has become a favorite among latter-day saints.
This song is actually the one that kicked off my project. It was the second song that I made for my son, who's favorite rapper is NF. I wanted an NF style piece that he could really get into. It was inspired by verse 27 when Alma says, "exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words." This scripture fundamentally changed my relationship with the word "faith."
When I was 18 years old, I was getting ready to serve my mission. Because I graduated among the youngest in my class, most of my friends had already left and people were starting to ask me when I was going to go. Even though I'd planned all my life to go on a mission and desired it with all my heart, I found myself rebelling against the idea. I didn't want to serve a mission because everyone told me to. I wanted to serve because I felt the desire in my heart. And at the time, the desire completely left me.
One night I was reading my scriptures and came across this passage. When Alma said, "let this desire work in you," I felt like God was speaking directly to me through Alma's words. He said, "Even if you desire to desire, let that desire work in you that you may desire to serve." I believe that's how faith works. You can retrain your mind and rebuild your habits just from a desire to believe in yourself and in God.
I wanted to give this lesson as a gift to my teenage son. So I made this song for him. And that's when I realized I could do it again and again.
