Gather Me
GATHER ME:
This song comes from 3 Nephi 8-10. The people in the land of both Nephites and Lamanites become very divided and wicked. They stone the prophets and commit murders to get gain and power. Eventually, they are primed for destruction and that comes at the death of Christ. Samuel had prophesied the sign of His birth and the sign of His death. The sign of His death was great destruction followed by 3 days of darkness.
Gather Me comes from those 3 days of darkness and only the more righteous are spared. They mourn and wail and see absolutely nothing for 3 whole days. And out of the darkness comes the voice of the Lord. His voice is found in the lyrics of this song. He says, "how oft have I gathered you as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and have nourished you... yea, how oft would I have gathered you as a hen gathereth her chickens, and ye would not. O ye house of Israel whom I have spared, how oft will I gather you as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, if ye will repent and return unto me with full purpose of heart."
I think this is beautiful imagery from the Savior. He wants to protect us. He wants to bless us, but so often we reject him and choose our own paths instead of His. There had to be a song in this.
At first, I thought I would create a piece that sounded chaotic, like the destruction of the wicked Nephites. It was supposed to have cymbal crashes and timpani and shrill flute trills. Then I wanted it to settle into a mournful wail from a French horn and a cello. And only after a few bars of silence, would the voice of the Savior cut through the darkness.
I thought this was brilliant. However, the Lord had other plans for this that he later showed me. I couldn't get the software to do what I wanted. And after multiple attempts, my eyes were opened. I'd been using this music to create an emotional arc of the characters of the Book of Mormon. The goal here was not to provide the Savior's voice, but the voice of the people who heard him. In doing so, I would be able to capture the darkness of that moment and the softness of God's offer.
The three days of darkness became symbolic to me of depression. Having experienced severe depression myself, I know that it feels endless. I imagine that the three days of darkness also felt endless. They had no way to know how fast time was passing or if time was passing at all. Therefore, they were in a state of endless darkness, just like depression.
Those of us who have suffered depression know that it won't last forever, but it always feels like it will. This song became the voice of the faithful who are suffering in that state of darkness. They know that God is out there somewhere and they yern to feel Him, but they feel nothing when they reach out. And prolonged depression has happy moments, but it always returns to the the state of hurting and ache.
That's what this song is about. We reach out to God in our suffering and He reaches back toward us. We feel him just enough to give us hope and then the darkness sinks back on us.
This song was patterned after Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah.” I chose to use the cello in minor key to sell the sadness and the pain. Unlike my other songs, I did not resolve this into a positive feeling. The feeling of this piece was endurance and faith, not triumph or promise. So I left the singer in the darkness and closed with the words, "Gather me, even here." Because this could be anyone in the darkness, and I had only used male vocal leads so far, I wanted to have a female voice.
This is my way of saying, "I see you," to all of those who suffer. Your faith in the darkness is inspiring.
